Just drive!

I follow a few touristy Facebook pages that give travelers advice. Particularly between South Africa and Mozambique. They are not very informative about travel between Zimbabwe and Mozambique, or Zimbabwe and South Africa, but perhaps I am on the wrong pages.

I absolutely LOVE these pages. Because they are a scream. I’m quite sure that some of the questions are written to amuse us all.

We have the standard queries….

1. How quickly can I down a tipo tinto once I leave the border into Mozambique? And will there be cold raspberry sparletta available or must we bring our own.
2. I know there is a foot and mouth problem and meat from SA is not allowed, but is it fine if we vacuum pack it?
3. Is there food in Mozambique, or must we bring our own?
4. Is it legal for me to trail my boat, caravan and quad bikes on ONE registration number?
5. I know it is not advisable to drive at night in Mozambique. We plan to arrive at 11pm, will it be night in Mozambique?
6. I know we must all wear our seat belts in the car, but is it fine to strap extra passengers to the roof rack. (This, of course, IS fine in most parts of Africa).

The questions asking people to give them accurate information based on travel estimations are fabulous. And it is particularly heartwarming how many readers try to calculate and assist. Bless them.

For example..

1. If I leave Swakopmund at 03h00, drive for three days, have fourteen bathroom breaks, perhaps stop for lunch, maybe visit Tanie Madelein, will I arrive at the (unnamed) border before it closes?

And my personal best, the surname query (I always feel inclined to reply on these ones, because I have a bit of experience).

1. My son’s passport has arrived and not only is my three time previously married surname incorrectly in his passport as his mother, they have named my lover as his father instead of my husband. Will this be a problem at the border?
2. My ID, passport, credit card, birth certificate, organ donor card AND library card are ALL in different surnames, will this be a problem at the border.

On this last one, I am qualified to answer. Yes.