Surely not

Did you watch Ted Lasso? Fantastic series, we loved it.

You will, of course, remember Hannah Waddingham in it. She is the most fabulous.

Anyway… I came across an article where she was asked what keeps her so fabulous.

Of course the answer was buried within one of those clickbait things that makes you read and scroll for three days past 400 adverts.

I usually avoid anything that requires me to ‘read more on the link below!’, but hey, Hannah was about to divulge the fountain of youth.

And she says….(I won’t make you scroll further)… It’s lip liner.

Really? That’s what makes it possible to bounce a coin off her buttocks?

So… I got some and sure enough. Knocked ten years off.

And I swear my glutes are firmer.

Gangsta land

We have nine bird feeders. Yes, nine. I’m not quite sure how this has happened, but it is the state of things. In a very small yard.

My lovely man diligently fills these feeders up, and he has to do it every second day, because clearly we are hosting every bird within a 100km radius.

We go through A LOT of wild bird seed. It’s delivered by Takealot (of course), by the truckload.

We also have a beloved little rat mouse, Monty, to consider.

Sadly, in the last month, we have found two dead birds in the yard.

They were not emaciated, to be sure, but they were dead.

At least I hope they were, because I dispose of the poor little things in a zip lock bag. With a little blessing of course, but still.

I try not think about it.

Although, I do wonder, if this is going to continue, if Takealot sell little bells I can put in to the zip lock bag, so they can alert us if they awake within their zip lock bag in a panic. Maybe a mobile phone with my number programmed in.

I digress…

Why, I asked my lovely man, are these birds perishing?

We both regarded Ginger Nutless Max cat with some suspicion… But he reminded us that ‘he’s a really nice guy’ and also… If he caught Monty or any bird, he would present it to me via my pillow.

They are fighting…. My Lovely Man solemnly advised me.

Who are fighting I enquired? The birds?

Yes, he said, they are fighting each other to the death over the food. It’s obvious.

Are you saying, I clarified, they are shanking each other over the bird food?

I think so, he said, it’s a dog eat dog world out there.

Let’s just do it

My lovely man LOVES his ice cream. Every day, after his lunch, there is always, always room for a bowl of ice cream.

The only exception to this habit, is if he has a chocolate milkshake.. Which is, mostly ice cream.

On any number of occasions, he has smacked his lips, sighed with contentment and advised me that he could quite happily live on ice cream and beer.

We all need something to live for hey?

Anyway… I bought him a box of six ‘Big Deal Mint Crunch’ ice cream on a stick. Like Magnums I guess.

He didn’t notice them for a few days, and then I asked him if he’d tried them yet and what were they like.

Well, apparently 5 star. Happiness.

So I tried one, and yes, very nice.

Some time later he said… Are these big deal ice creams more expensive than ice cream in a tub, because I don’t mind, if it’s easier, if you only get those.

I think they are more expensive I advised.

Well, he said, let’s do the maths, but I suppose we’ll have to factor it in if you are going to eat them too. How many a week do you think you’ll have?

Darling, I announced, they are 5 times more expensive per ml of ice cream.

Oh, he said, that’s not too bad then is it?