Daily Life – Page 5 – OhSoRosie.com

April 29, 2023April 27, 2023

What’s that smell?

My lovely man is of great support to me and does many (read all), of the household chores.

Don’t you want one? Get your own, this one’s mine.

He often uses my little car to run around in. It’s a ‘fuel saver’ vs a ‘ gas guzzler’.

The other morning we were having our pre-walk morning cuppa (and choccie biscuit) and he announced. ‘ I don’t think I took the shopping out of the car yesterday, let me check’.

I’m sure it’s all fine he continued a little later… I’ve put the chicken in the freezer, all good.

Darling, I said, I don’t think that’s clever, shouldn’t we throw that chicken away?

It’s for the dogs he said, I’m sure it will be fine. (I, of course, would take a bullet for my dogs, so this is NOT fine really).

I don’t get to drive my car, or any car very often. My lovely man is the designated driver as a rule. When we first started dating, he was very complimentary of my driving. Now that the honeymoon is over there are any number of suggestions, instructions, and pleas to Jesus for help when I drive.

But I had occasion (read boozy girls lunch), to go out by myself and lowered myself into my car and trundled off.

On my return, I asked my lovely man if it was my car that he had used when he went shopping and left the chicken in the car.

Yes, I think so, he said, it’s easier to park, why do you ask?

Because, darling, my car smells like something has died in it.

So now, not only do we have to empty the freezer of any chicken so that no-one in the household dies, I also have to sell or perhaps set alight my car.

Perhaps you can have him after all.

March 27, 2023

Yes.. I identify as…

We are enjoying a few days at the magnificent Victoria Falls.

I know, so lucky.

Our resort offers a shuttle service into town. They don’t encourage you to walk too far around here because of the wild animals. Having said that, the locals walk everywhere. Out of necessity one presumes.

Anyway, after our boozy lunch (always), we caught the shuttle back.

There was a very attractive lady on the shuttle with us and then we stopped again and picked up Casanova. Himself.

Immediately he started harassing her for her details. Including phone number and room number.

Amazing.

So, when we arrived, we hung around a bit to escort her, as necessary, because of this unwanted and somewhat aggressive attention.

Later, when we were having a sundowner, we saw this young lady again and she thanked us for the help.

She was with her friends by now. (She made a point of telling us, perhaps she thought we would chase them off too).

Where are you from they asked us.

This question is almost as loaded as ‘what is your surname’. I am always confused by both and tend to ramble a bit.

Luckily my lovely man stepped in and explained that we were local. Zimbabwean.

Immediately we were regarded with deep suspicion. Which is normal. My lovely man never gets asked by a Zimbabwean if he is Zimbabwean. I braced myself for the inevitable.

She doesn’t sound like a Zimbabwean they stated, as expected, moving away slightly. She sounds like an South African. Also, they continued, it’s her hair. Very Pretoria. The one guy actually waving his hands around his head.

No good deed…

Nice though, he said as an afterthought.

Yes, I said, I lived in SA for a long time, I guess I picked up an accent.

Not being able to resist rambling, I further explained that, at one point, I even married into the Afrikaans tribe, but I wasn’t accepted. Voted out. The weakest link stuff.

They all nodded… Knowingly.

My lovely man just sighed and ordered another beer. Don’t start with the surnames please he muttered.

January 17, 2023

You actually can’t make it up

January 14, 2023January 14, 2023

Yes, I’m Generation X. Y?

I have reached the age of irrelevance. Alarming and somewhat depressing.

I’m in SA. Shopping is necessary. I’m a bit of a gadget lover. Can’t resist a new gadget.

So, pushing my little trolley of already purchased this and that, I entered a gadget shop and asked the fellow if he had stock of what I was looking for.

Is it for your child, or perhaps your grandchild he smirked. Did you bring them?

I looked at this twit… Probably in his mid 40’s…not too long ago I was dating his ilk, probably younger. This one, I would have crushed like a bug.

It’s for me, I announced, I’m more competent than I clearly look. And! I have money to spend.. Which I will be spending elsewhere.

My comment and stalking away may have been more withering if I hadn’t forgotten my trolley behind.

January 13, 2023

Surely not?

January 6, 2023January 6, 2023

An honest mistake

Did you hear about the below story…..

A fellow didn’t realise his wife had also got out the car to ablute and drove off. For 160km before he realised she was actually NOT sleeping in the back anymore.

She was left, in the dark, in Thailand. With nothing but perhaps damp panties.

http://702.co.za/articles/463400/til-abonnement-do-us-part-man-drives-off-without-wife-thinks-she-s-in-the-car

I had a husband that did this to me. This was my pre she-wee days. So, there I was, trying to discreetly do my business beside the car. Hoping to not wee on my shoes or be seen by any passer by.

And he drove off. Leaving me fully exposed of course. Funny guy.

Keep the keys is my advice.

We are divorced now.

January 5, 2023

The Scatterings of Africa

I’m in South Africa for a bit. Why… Well you know… There are family and friends here I miss terribly.

So, I booked myself into a little AirBnB. A number of people offer to put me up when I am here, but I am a terrible guest quite frankly. I need to work, so sometimes I ignore my host; I complain about their WiFi; I ALWAYS want to wash clothes; I ALWAYS want to shower; I absolutely want my own bathroom…. And of course, best they have a solar system see?

I’m only ever invited once.

But, I do a great boozy lunch.

There was a problem, apparently, with the first place I booked. They asked if they could move me.

So, I arrived at the next option and interrogated the lovely hostess re the problem with my first choice.

Well, she said, we are banned as an AirBnB there because some guests had a huge party and trashed the place. Now we have to fix everything and beg the complex for forgiveness.

Well! We bitched for 10 minutes about noisy, inconsiderate people.

I then reminded her that my folks were coming to stay and were bringing their dog.

We LOVE animals she advised me. So…. Another 10 minutes on the arseholes who don’t like animals and those bastards who mistreat them.

We beamed at each other happily.

Then she showed me around my little cabin and then the little cabin for my parents. Delightful.

She went on her way and only then I noticed the scatter cushions. What is it about scatter cushions that sends people bevok? I have had to find a corner to stack the 830 scatter cushions so that I can get at least one bum cheek on the sofa and lay down on my bed.

But, its my new years resolution to be kinder and not judge.

Let me know how I’m doing.

November 14, 2022