How to adult
Just drive!
I follow a few touristy Facebook pages that give travelers advice. Particularly between South Africa and Mozambique. They are not very informative about travel between Zimbabwe and Mozambique, or Zimbabwe and South Africa, but perhaps I am on the wrong pages.
I absolutely LOVE these pages. Because they are a scream. I’m quite sure that some of the questions are written to amuse us all.
We have the standard queries….
- How quickly can I down a tipo tinto once I leave the border into Mozambique? And will there be cold raspberry sparletta available or must we bring our own.
- I know there is a foot and mouth problem and meat from SA is not allowed, but is it fine if we vacuum pack it?
- Is there food in Mozambique, or must we bring our own?
- Is it legal for me to trail my boat, caravan and quad bikes on ONE registration number?
- I know it is not advisable to drive at night in Mozambique. We plan to arrive at 11pm, will it be night in Mozambique?
- I know we must all wear our seat belts in the car, but is it fine to strap extra passengers to the roof rack. (This, of course, IS fine in most parts of Africa).
The questions asking people to give them accurate information based on travel estimations are fabulous. And it is particularly heartwarming how many readers try to calculate and assist. Bless them.
For example..
- If I leave Swakopmund at 03h00, drive for three days, have fourteen bathroom breaks, perhaps stop for lunch, maybe visit Tanie Madelein, will I arrive at the (unnamed) border before it closes?
And my personal best, the surname query (I always feel inclined to reply on these ones, because I have a bit of experience).
- My son’s passport has arrived and not only is my three time previously married surname incorrectly in his passport as his mother, they have named my lover as his father instead of my husband. Will this be a problem at the border?
- My ID, passport, credit card, birth certificate, organ donor card AND library card are ALL in different surnames, will this be a problem at the border.
On this last one, I am qualified to answer. Yes.
Have another lizard
We went to a friend’s house for lunch. There may have been wine and strawberries. Certainly there was great food, fantastic company and a good number of giggles.
There were also dogs. Beautiful German Shephard dogs. My lovely mans favourite TV programme is Hudson & Rex. We love Rex. But, that is for another time.
I love dogs. But, truth be told, I am a little nervous of big dogs. Nevertheless, we were oohing and aahing over these gorgeous pups. There was a comment that one of them was quite lean. Our lovely host commented that she was really active, but ate very well, including lizards she caught.
Well, I said, maybe that’s why she’s lean, I should maybe eat some.
Why? One of the guests asked.
Bless her I thought, she wants to give me a compliment that I CERTAINLY don’t need to lose weight, that I’m fabulous.
I need to lose a bit of weight I admitted modestly.
Yes, yes, she said, but why lizards?
Bound to end in tears
Problem, what problem?
Some years ago, a customer of mine put me on an AA WhatsApp group. And since then, I have been getting these daily messages of encouragement to stay sober.
I wasn’t quite sure what to read into this of course. I don’t believe I am a big drinker, but I guess that’s what they (we) all say.
I am Zimbabwean born, so the odds really are against me NOT being a big drinker.
I have an aversion to removing myself off WhatsApp groups I am put on. I feel so privileged to be put on the group. And, you know, you can see when someone leaves. And it’s SO rude. Also, he is a customer… So…. awkward. But I have lots of questions… Like why do you think I need this?
Our daily message (see that, I’m feeling one with this group), starts off with the Serenity Prayer. Then it launches into one of the steps, guidance on the challenges we have to conquer, all KINDS of inspirational stuff.
They are VERY long messages. While I am in awe of these daily compilations, I very rarely read it all. Especially if I have a hangover 🤣
I actually only started drinking any alcohol when I turned 40. Encouraged by my group of friends, the Ex Wives Club. A story for another day perhaps.
Wherever we go, my lovely man produces, from somewhere on his being, some strawberries for my wine. Isn’t he marvelous?
I suspect I am going to have to report this to the group. He’s the enabler.
No man…
Is nothing sacred?
Apparently the copyright to Winnie the Pooh, held by Disney up until recently, has now expired.
So, what has the world done? Made a slasher movie of course. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey (wonder how long it took them to come up with that title).
Pooh and Piglet have been around for 95 years and now, it seems, they are pissed. Gone rogue on Christopher Robin.
Difficult to reconcile that this is what the world needs really.
Wasn’t the horror of Bambi and Old Yeller enough to bear? But, in those movies, at least there was a lesson. What lesson can ANY slasher movie provide?
I’m not sure how important Winnie the Pooh is to the latest generation of kids, but it seems sad that “Blood and Honey” could be become anyone’s memory and impression of the gentle Pooh Bear.
Funny may be back soon. Sorry Pooh, the world has gone mad.
Have you seen my mum?
Can anyone hear me?
My lovely man, and his BFF, the intrepid Mandova. A source of great entertainment the both of them.
Both of them hard of hearing.
Makes it quite easy for me to keep track of what is going on in the household, because they are inevitably yelling updates at each other.
Quite often I will jabber on to them for a few minutes and then regard their blank faces and realize neither have or wish to hear me.
What is our list for today I hear them ask each other regularly. Also quite regularly I am called to survey something they have done together.
The current challenge is keeping the power going. We are blessed with a solar system, but the solar system needs to be topped up by the municipal electricity intermittently. The municipal electricity has been a bit scarce of late (someone must have stolen it).
I am particularly bleak when the geyser gets cold.
Today I was summoned to check on the state of the solar batteries. Low. We all regarded this solemnly.
No boiling of the kettle or running anything that consumes a lot of power. (Hope my wine stays cold).
I think, my lovely man suggested, if we don’t get electricity today or tonight, we must run the generator to boost the batteries.
What I suggest, Mandova stated (oblivious), is that if we don’t get electricity soon, we should run the generator.
What did he say, my lovely man asked me.
So, I said…. Tell you what, if it doesn’t come right, let’s use the generator.
Glad I thought of it.
So we are going to do that.
Love them both. Peas in a pod in their thinking. Deaf peas of course.
Sorry, not sorry
Today I was giving feedback to a customer. We were having, in fact, a conversation over WhatsApp. As one does. Many, many different communication forums these days aren’t there, one has to keep track and ensure good record keeping .
The feedback was not good news. We are in a frustrating situation that is taking its toll on everyone while we try and resolve it.
At the end of the conversation he gave me the finger. In an emoji you know.
I was a bit taken aback. But then I thought, OK, perhaps that was deserving, take it on the chin.
He immediately deleted it and apologized and said that he meant to use the thumbs up but the emoji’s were too close to each other.
It’s OK, I said, the situation probably warrants that type of response, I’ll pass it onto the crowd letting us down.
No, no, he said, I would never send that emoji, we just use it a lot on the group I’m on with my cousins.
I want cousins like that man!