Month: August 2025

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Coincidence? I think not

A friend told me that if you are diabetic, you need to look after your heels, because once they crack, it’s a right chore to fix.

So, I was telling my dear old dad this.

Yes, he said, I take care of my heels with Zambuk.

Actually, he said, I always think of you when I’m applying the Zambuk because of the blog you wrote about the lid difficulty.

Your blog, he continued, must have quite a reach, because just after that, they improved the lid.

The world, or at least the Zambuk users, have a lot to thank you for, he ended.

Bless the faith of the dads. Bless the dads.

Also… Send gifts.

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Give me a minute, I’m rewiring

I’m quite interested in mindfulness and the rewiring of the brain / mind to engender better habits and thought patterns.

On the positive I’m quite strong minded and determined.

On the negative I’m a multi tasker and I’ve got shit to do!

So… Relaxation… The quietening of the mind and meditation is a challenge.

I decided to turn to a bit of hypnotherapy, so I got an app and plugged my buds into my lugs to listen for the required 20 minutes or so to the soothing inspiration that is going to turn my life around.

‘Try and listen to each session 3 or 4 times a day in peace and quiet’ was the suggestion.

Who the f&#@ has that luxury I thought.

Any hooo.

Unfortunately, as soon as there is a suggestion of me getting into a prone position to ‘relax’ there is a mad scramble of little animals to sit on top of me. This raucous takes a few minutes and the two winners settle their fat little bodies on my fat little body. The others settle next to me and snore like chainsaws within three seconds.

I then announce to my lovely man that I’m going to meditate for a bit.

Almost immediately he reads out an interesting article, plays a video… Or… My personal favorite.. Asks me if he has a CVS number because he’s clicked on a link and they are asking for it.

I persevere…

The soothing voice tells me I am going to ascend to a safe place. That I am at the top of a spiral staircase, and as I make my way down.. I will sink further and further into a state of serenity and be open to positive suggestions.

What the actual…?

Do I have to get there via death stairs? Why would anyone pick a spiral staircase for the love of…

Needless to say, I have not yet achieved a state of serenity.

I am spending most days in a state of white knuckled sweat.

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Call the cops

I am the morning tea /coffee maker in our household…. My lovely man used to spoil me with a cuppa in bed… But I am the less sore one first thing these days… So it only seems right..

Of course my day starts off a visit to the bathroom, while the cats remind me that they are close to starvation and can I move it up.

As I peered at myself in the mirror the other morning, it looked like I had a shiner over my right eyelid.

Must be make up I thought.

It happened to be our first date anniversary… Is this some way of my lovely man displaying his seven year itch I thought?

Then I looked over at him drinking his tea and munching on his choccie bic and remembered that he is, in fact, the loveliest.

A little later, in the bath, post face wash, my lovely man popped in to ask re. his chore list for the day, so I took the opportunity… darling, I said, can you see the bruise on my eye? No, he said, looks fine.

Great, I thought, make up… Washed off, all good.

Looked in the mirror… Shiner, definitely

Are we even seen ladies? Let alone heard?

This itself is a crime, surely?

So… I called the cops

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Mr Fernando stories…

Mr Fernando is the caretaker (I guess), of the building my little office is in.  Very pleasant fellow, carries my bag in for me, helps me open up etc.  Up until yesterday when my office door was fixed by a carpenter, it was quite an effort to open it.  A solid bashing with my hip if I was in company, and a even more solid rear ending if I was alone.  More effective, much less delicate.  Anyway, those days are behind me and the door now swings open effortlessly.   Mr Fernando does not speak any English and I,  we are well aware, am useless.  This does not stop Mr Fernando bonding with me.  My interjections of ‘Nao falo Portugues’ literally fall on deaf ears.  The man has a lot of shit to get off his chest I suspect. I have decided it is just polite to smile and nod.  It did occur to me this morning after our monologue that I am be agreeing to things I am oblivious to.  A very satisfied smile was bestowed on me before Mr Fernando wandered off to attend to his duties.  I suspect we are either 1) betrothed, 2) he is now in my employment or 3) I have agreed to include him in my will.

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All frothed up

‘Darling’ , my lovely man advised, ‘I’m not getting much of a froth on your cappacino of late, do you think there is something wrong with the milk?’

I had noticed this deterioration in quality, but I’m not one to complain as you well know.

Maybe, the frother is not being rinsed out properly I suggested. Perhaps there are remnants of sunlight liquid left, which are affecting the milk.

Unlikely he advised, I don’t use sunlight liquid, I just give it a little twirl under the cold tap, it’s only milk. Sometimes I use that little sponge, but it’s become a bit mingy.

Dear God, clearly I’ve got the constitution of a shire horse that I’ve not yet perished.

Anyway, if we invite you around for cappacino, perhaps bring your own.