Avoid at all costs
Gotta be love
I am languishing in Beiradise currently while my lovely man holds the fort in Harare.
Darling, he enquired… Alfie is licking his knob a lot and it looks dry and sore. Any ideas on what could help?
Oh no! I cried. My poor little boy pup.
I had many suggestions… None of which would have been appreciated.
I settled on..
Try coconut oil. You may have to apply it a few times a day.
Good grief he moaned. How much longer before you are back?
It’s a fail for you
I was talking to a friend who has applied for something recently and been subjected to some tests.
As she was describing them I said… Oh yes, those are those cognitive tests.
I’m not sure how well I did she said.
Sometimes, I said, I fail those little block tests confirming if you are a robot or not.
Thank you, she said, I feel better.
Who’s your money on?
Fear not
Quite often, when I slog up the stairs to my little house in the clouds (there are 36 stairs), I get a bit apprehensive and am convinced someone is following me.
So, I whip around, heart in my mouth, to defend myself….
But, its only the sound of my thighs rubbing together I’m hearing.
Keep that in your pants here
In Zimbabwe and Mozambique, there are any number of social media sites you can use to ask for help or where to find something.
For whatever reason, Google and Web pages are used far less here. You can find an appropriate group on FB and someone will help you. And then….. Very quickly, they will deliver the goods to you if a deal is struck.
It’s all quite astounding, useful, and often very amusing.
But a query this morning has taken the biscuit.
Unfortunately he has posted anonymously, but no doubt in due course admin will spill the beans and tell at least one friend who it is. That’s keeping a secret isn’t it? One at a time?
Anyway, some bloke from the UK (and we can safely predict it is a bloke, as you will see), claims his side hustle is selling his sperm. (See? He must at least identify as a bloke and produce something he is trading).
Now he is enquiring if he can continue this lucrative career in Zimbabwe.
In Zimbabwe?
He has described himself, as part of his pitch, and is gauging interest before he moves to Zimbabwe. He’s been going at this quite successfully in the UK for a number of years, will be badly missed there, but is clearly prepared to continue sowing his seed to assist Zimbabwe.
The comments….
Some people of very admiring of this side hustle and hadn’t realised its potential. They too are willing and able, so are ‘following’
‘Here in Zimbabwe’ advises another reader, ‘we don’t pay for sperm donation my friend. They just knock you up and run away. We call it mjolo’. She goes on to advise him to look for another job.
Another…. ‘its pretty much given away this side’
Another ‘donating in a cup or in kind…?’
The inevitable…. ‘I’m willing, what maintenance will you pay me?’
Another has offered him 10,000. Zimbabwe dollars
Who knows how this will end? I too am ‘following’ with great interest.
Take me off your mailing list!
Spam and telemarketing calls…..
Don’t you hate them?
As I write this I realise I am spam. Still, never mind hey?
I once bought something of Brian Tracy’s. He’s a sale guru, and credit to him, he’s brilliant. But…. My word, he doesn’t give up.. Doesn’t matter how many times I unsubscribe, a bit of time passes and I’m back on that mailing list. I’m not even sure the man is alive even, and he’s still trying to sell me something. Like a phoenix from the ashes…. I feel like I have been in a relationship with Brian Tracy for decades.
And unsolicited telemarketing calls! Hate them. Especially those ones that are just a recording yelling at you. Really? What?
Actually it’s a miracle if I answer my phone. I am not fond of receiving phone calls. There is nothing that can’t be voice messaged or texted people!
If someone has died, kindly text me ‘someone has died, can we schedule a call’ and then I’ll send a meeting request see?
If I do miraculously answer the phone and it’s a telemarketer, I try and be kind. Coz really, it’s got to be one of the most demoralising jobs ever. (And I now get telemarketing calls in three countries). But then I tell them I now live in Kazakhstan, that they are paying roaming costs and I don’t have money to feed myself. I ask if they can please send me money, or at least take me off the call list. They do neither.
I also interrogate them on their success rate. Because honestly, does it work?